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Why did the mountain hate the beach? He wasn’t shore.

To be Frank, I’d have to change my name.

My therapist told me my narcissism causes me to misread social situations, but I’m pretty sure she was flirting with me.

I, for one, like using Roman numerals.

I read recently there’s been an increase in crime in high rise apartment buildings. That’s wrong on so many levels.

After dinner my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? He was feeling crummy.

Dad, that man accused you and Mom of being something called pyromaniacs. Is that true? Yes, we arson.

My friends say I have a real gambling problem. I bet I could go a week without stopping in the casino.

When I was young, I wondered where the sun went at night. Then it dawned on me.