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Did you hear about the haunted tractor? It was rumbling down a country road when it turned into a field.

What type of doctor provides treatment at any time of day or night? An oncall-ogist.

My son managed to bake something on his first try. It was a piece of cake.

How many balls of lint would it take to reach the moon? One, but it would need to be very large.

My friend keeps telling me to cheer up. He says it could be a lot worse: I could be trapped inside a deep hole filled with water. I know he means well.

What kind of music do balloons hate the most? Pop.

I’m absolutely terrified of swimming the English Channel. It’s one of my deepest fears.

My son’s math teacher called him average. I really think that’s mean.

People who can’t tell the difference between etymology and entomology bug me beyond words.

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. You can’t tell me that’s just a coincidence.