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What do you call an artist who’s also a street racer? Vincent Van Go!

I’d like to thank my legs for supporting me, my arms for staying at my side, and my fingers because I can always count on them.

Ranch dressing is just a fancy term for cowboy clothes.

I was going to throw away all of my old spices. But it seemed like a waste of thyme.

My grandma used to feed me alphabet soup because she thought I really liked it. I didn’t though; she was just putting words in my mouth.

A bottle of Coke fell out of the fridge and onto my toes. I’m fortunate it was a soft drink.

Do old men typically prefer boxers or briefs? Depends.

I wanted to tell a long joke about a dog getting fixed. But the owner only wanted a quick snippet.

Would anyone be interested in being my companion? Asking for a friend.

When taking a calculus exam, make sure you don’t sit between identical twins. It’s difficult to differentiate between them.