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When is the best time of day to practice racket sports? Tennish.

The first French fries where not actually made in France. They were made in Greece.

I once tried to make a square but I ended up with an octagon. That’s what happens when you cut corners.

Do the words ‘well’ and ‘actually’ each have only one syllable? Well, yes, but actually, no.

I’m collecting signatures to secure funding for new slides at our neighborhood playground. Support for the issue is declining rapidly.

What happens to famous composers after they die? They decompose.

Last night, I had the craziest dream that I wrote Lord of the Rings. I must have been Tolkien in my sleep.

What’s the worst part about being a cross-eyed teacher? They can’t control their pupils.

I think I should learn sign language. It’s very handy.

I went to the zoo today but for all of the exhibits and habitats, they only had one animal, a dog. It was a shih tzu.