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To the man in the knee cast that stole my camouflage jacket: You can hide but you can’t run.

My mother in law doesn’t like the new stair lift we had installed for her. She says it drives her up the wall.

Did you know that dogs can’t read x-rays or MRIs? But cats can.

As an earthquake shook their barn, one horse turned to another and asked, “Do you think this place is stable?”

What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

How to fall down a staircase, a step by step guide: Step 1. Step2. Step 3. Step 4. Step 5. Step 6.

Did you hear about the criminal who was a real fruitcake? He was eventually given a trial by his pears.

Why is the ocean salty? Because the shore never waves back.

It’s true, cats have nine lives. But frogs croak every night.