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Why can’t Usain Bolt listen to music while running? He keeps breaking the record.

What is a pirate’s favorite musical note? The high C.

I’ve opened a barber shop for rabbits. We only do hare cuts.

Why do people rarely starve in the desert? Because of all the sand which is there.

What are a communist’s favorite units of time? Hours.

I just quit my job as a scuba diving instructor. Deep down, I realized it wasn’t for me.

I entered ten of my best puns into a competition to see if any would win. No pun in ten did.

Why did the coffee no longer feel safe at home? It was mugged.

My wife was upset that I bought the wrong cheddar and promptly slammed it on the table. I said: “Well, that’s mature.”

I was a little confused when my wife gave me Play-Doh for my birthday. I’m not sure what to make of it.