Uncategorized

I changed my iPod’s name to ‘Titanic’ in iTunes. It’s syncing now.

Why do electrical repairmen make the best journalists? They’re always investigating current events.

I told my boss that three companies were after me, and I needed a raise to stay at my current job. “Which companies are after you?” my boss asked. “Gas, electric, and cable,” I responded.

What do you call a snake building its own home? A boa constructor.

Why is Batman in such a hurry? He has to go to the Batroom.

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

I have a machine that turns notes into dollar coins. It makes no cents.

Why was the orange juice factory worker fired? He couldn’t concentrate.

I attempted a conversation with a sneaker. He was very rude and told me to shoe.

I let my manager know I needed a raise as I was getting a lot of calls from three companies. My boss asked: “Can you share which are after you?” “Cable, electric, and gas,” I said.