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What happens if your band has two drummers? There will be repercussions.

My son tried to change the time. But not on my watch.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Agnosticism needs a better bookkeeper; it doesn’t know whether it has a prophet or not.

What do you call a tree that you can hold in your hand? A palm tree.

What do Santa’s elves listen to while they work? Wrap music.

Yesterday, a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.

Our wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.

I saw a baguette in a cage during my last trip to the zoo. The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.

Have you ever tried blindfolded archery? You don’t know what you’re missing.

Why did the dad tell the joke? To get to the other sigh.