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My friend is addicted to brake fluid. However, he says he can stop any time.

Why do the French only have a single egg at breakfast? Because one egg is un oeuf.

What do you get when you wrap a cat in a blanket? A purrrrito.

What did the cannibal get when he showed up late for dinner? The cold shoulder.

How does a crow in Georgia communicate with a crow in Oregon? Long distance caw.

How do you cut the ocean in half? With a seasaw.

What kind of bagel do pilots like? Plain.

Let me make myself perfectly clear: I wholeheartedly support every effort to create a fully-functional invisibility cloak.

At first I thought opening a shop in the rain forest was a good idea. Not so much, it’s a saturated market.

Why is a tree a better deterrent than a guard dog? It has more bark.