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How are dog catchers paid? By the pound.

Did you hear the new song about a tortilla? Well, it’s more of a wrap really.

Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.

What is a mathematician’s preferred type of toilet paper? Multiply.

My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she had freshly ironed. I watched it all unfold.

Three men walked into a bar. They all said ouch.

Found out I was color blind the other day. Boy that came right out of the orange.

I’m really hoping to sell my broken bike tire pump. But really, no pressure, guys.

On a family trip to Arizona, my son complained about the oppressive 113 degree heat. I suggested he walk to the corner where it’s 90 degrees.

I’m pretty sure that the hotel receptionist was checking me out.