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Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.

What happens when you can’t pay your exorcist? You get repossessed.

Insurance companies are warning campers that if their tent is stolen during the night, they won’t be covered.

Where did Captain Hook get his famous hook? A second hand store.

If dogs get cataracts, do cats get dogaracts?

Why can’t you trust elements? They make up everything.

Say, Ernie? Would you like some ice cream? Yes, sherbert.

What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythm? A metro-gnome.

What do you call a hundred centipedes? A dollarpede.

I got my best friend a refrigerator for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.