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A son from a long line of wheat farmers decided to plant barley. He was going against the grain.

Scientists have conclusively determined the leading cause of dry skin. Towels.

Last night, my wife dramatically ripped the blankets off of me. Don’t worry I recovered.

What do you get when the sun bends over very late in the evening? The crack of dawn.

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. Then I turned myself around.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

Have you seen the Disney movie about an ugly DJ in a small club outside Paris? Beauty and the Beats.

Do you know what happened to the cocky lion trainer at the zoo? He was consumed by his own pride.

Why did I want to be an editor, you ask? Well, to cut a long story short.

Why didn’t the clam share his candy? Because he was shellfish.