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The giraffe says to the hippo, “You know Joe the lion? Told me he’s a shape shifter. Can turn into any animal he wants.” The hippo scoffs: “That guy? Nah, he’s always lion.”

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.

I’m not a fan of Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.

What language did the first person in Portugal speak? Portugoose.

Every room has to have a door, and that’s where I come in.

I saw a sign while driving that read “Watch for Children.” Sounds like a fair trade.

I recently watched a documentary on how the Titanic’s hull was put together. It was riveting.

Puns make me numb, but math puns make me number.

Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.

I ate my old Apple watch last week. I had difficulty passing time.