honningkage

Did you hear the bathroom at the doughnut shop was vandalized? The police have nothing to go on.

Did you read about the two men that stole a desk calendar? They both got six months.

Bouncer: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” Me: “Why?” Bouncer: “I have no idea who you are and this is my trampoline.”

I originally invited my girlfriend to go to the gym but texted that I got baseball tickets instead. I hope she gets the message that we’re not working out.

Before I stated lifting weights, I used to hate my physique. Now my muscles are really growing on me.

My bank called to let me know I had an outstanding balance. I said, “Thank you, I was a star gymnast in high school,” and hung up.

Do you want to hear a joke about notebooks? Never mind, it’s tearable.

This afternoon before dinner, I lined up all of my daughter’s dolls by the window facing our grill. I was preparing a Barbie queue.

Before I had weights, I used to work out by lifting cases of Coke. I had to stop, because it was soda pressing.

I felt pretty sick after drinking milk with cream. My stomach was churning for a while, but now it’s butter.