honningkage

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticize them, you’ll be a mile away and have their shoes.

Did you know about the explosion at the toilet paper factory? Many experienced soft tissue damage.

Why didn’t the skeleton go trick or treating? He had no body to go with him.

If America changed from pounds to kilograms overnight, it would create mass confusion.

Did you hear about the sad puppy that only eats cantaloupe? He’s a little melon collie.

I asked Melissa why she married me. “Honey, because you’re so funny!” I questioned, “I thought it’s because I’m smart and attractive?” She replied, “See? You’re hilarious!”

Ancient astronomers got bored watching the earth turn, so after 24 hours, they called it a day.

Algebra is easy, I can deal with trigonometry, and I’ll struggle through calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

I used to hate facial hair. But then it grew on me.

I often imagine what Benjamin Franklin’s opinion would be on current issues. He’s usually on the money.