honningkage

Did you hear about the sad puppy that only eats cantaloupe? He’s a little melon collie.

I asked Melissa why she married me. “Honey, because you’re so funny!” I questioned, “I thought it’s because I’m smart and attractive?” She replied, “See? You’re hilarious!”

Ancient astronomers got bored watching the earth turn, so after 24 hours, they called it a day.

Algebra is easy, I can deal with trigonometry, and I’ll struggle through calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

I used to hate facial hair. But then it grew on me.

I often imagine what Benjamin Franklin’s opinion would be on current issues. He’s usually on the money.

When I came to after getting hit by a truck, I was shocked to discover my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.

Two satellites got married. The wedding was terrible but the reception was amazing.

What do you call a person with one arm and no legs? By their name. Don’t be a jerk.

I only gamble on the top floor of casinos. My odds are better when I roll high.