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My son asked me what our home IP address was. I pointed to the toilet.

What does a priest say at the end of the service to rid the church of bugs? Let us spray.

Man calls his wife’s OBGYN and says, “It’s time, we need your help!” The nurse says, “Calm down. Is this her first child?” He replies, “No! This is her husband!”

When shopping for a vacuum cleaner, check the reviews and pick the one that sucks the most.

There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will understand.

I wanted to attend the seminar on vomit control. Unfortunately, something came up.

I was going to give archery a shot, but there are too many drawbacks.

What pet is furry, needs occasional cleaning, but never needs feeding? Carpet.

After my annual physical, my doctor prescribed a pill I’ll have to take daily for the rest of my life. The bottle only had four pills.

I generally use the self-checkout line when I grocery shop. They always have the cutest cashiers.