honningkage

I was out with my young daughter and ran into an old friend. “This is Beth,” I said, introducing my kid. “What’s Beth short for?” he asked. “Well, she’s only four.”

How do rhinos and elephants like their eggs? Any way but poached.

The original draft of Toy Story 4 had a scene where Woody’s friends died. They cut the scene because it was too much of a buzzkill.

I think I’m allergic to the gym. Whenever I’m there, I get sweaty, my face turns red, my heart beats rapidly, and my breathing is short.

Did you know janitors created a weightlifting exercise? They call it the power clean.

Unbelievable! 364 Days until Christmas, yet there are decorations everywhere already.

I found out I’m allergic to horses. It was destabilizing.

Why does the alphabet drop to 25 letters every December? Noel.

My job as a freight elevator repairman has its ups and downs.

I was in my doctor’s office when someone started yelling: “Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!” I asked the nurse what was going on. She told me that the doctor likes to call the shots.