honningkage

I originally invited my girlfriend to go to the gym but texted that I got baseball tickets instead. I hope she gets the message that we’re not working out.

Before I stated lifting weights, I used to hate my physique. Now my muscles are really growing on me.

My bank called to let me know I had an outstanding balance. I said, “Thank you, I was a star gymnast in high school,” and hung up.

Do you want to hear a joke about notebooks? Never mind, it’s tearable.

This afternoon before dinner, I lined up all of my daughter’s dolls by the window facing our grill. I was preparing a Barbie queue.

Before I had weights, I used to work out by lifting cases of Coke. I had to stop, because it was soda pressing.

I felt pretty sick after drinking milk with cream. My stomach was churning for a while, but now it’s butter.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticize them, you’ll be a mile away and have their shoes.

Did you know about the explosion at the toilet paper factory? Many experienced soft tissue damage.

Why didn’t the skeleton go trick or treating? He had no body to go with him.