honningkage

Started a new job and my fiancé asked if there was a gym in the building. I told her I wasn’t sure; I haven’t met everyone yet.

Have you heard of that new pirate movie? It’s rated arrrghhh.

The burglars stole almost everything from our home, but I’m the most upset about our wardrobe mirror. I just can’t see myself without it.

What did the zero say to the ten? How did you find the one?

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Two: one to do it and another to melt a clock.

My wife thinks we should stop buying so much processed deli meat from the grocer. I agreed; we should quit cold turkey.

I asked my wife if she’d like to celebrate our anniversary in the south of France. She said sure, we have nothing Toulouse.

Justice is best served cold. If it was served warm, it would be just water.

On our last cruise, I stopped in an island voodoo shop and immediately punched a laughing psychic. My mother always told me to strike a happy medium.

Why couldn’t the duck cross the road? Because he got his foot stuck in a quack.