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My earliest childhood memory is visiting the optometrist and getting my glasses. Life before that was a blur.

What type of music do wind turbines enjoy? They’re huge metal fans.

Did you see the newest magazine for bookworms who enjoy oil paint jokes? It’s called Readers Dye Jest.

Take my advice, do not inhale poisonous gases. You may very well sulfur the consequences.

I heard the greatest joke about drills. Wait, never mind, it was a dull bit.

I decided to apply for Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked, “Do you have a criminal record?” I replied, “No. Is it still required?”

What did the cowboy say at his second rodeo? This ain’t my first rodeo.

Mark Hamill made a lot of money for his role as Skywalker in Star Wars. One might say it was Lucrative.

You’d think a snail would be faster without a shell. Turns out it’s more sluggish.

When does a bad joke turn into a dad joke? When the punchline is apparent.