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Why should you never take offense? Because your neighbor’s dogs might run right into your garden.

My son asked what ‘inexplicable’ means. I said, “It’s hard to explain.”

How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed.

Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused to have his mouth numbed at the dentist? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

I heard that parallel lines have a lot in common. It’s too bad they never meet.

I just won’t stand to listen to stereotypes anymore. I always sit for Sony, Yamaha, or Bose.

I was accused of being a plagiarist. Their word, not mine.

Where do oranges go to school? The Navel Academy.

What’s a sea cow’s favorite beverage? Manatea.

The rotation of the earth really makes my day.