honningkage

Up next: How to sound good in a band. Stay tuned.

My wife showed me her mother’s quilts and asked which I preferred. I told her I’d rather not make a blanket judgment.

What’s the difference between a pedant and a kleptomaniac? One takes things literally and the other takes things, literally.

I was going to add jokes about penguins to my routine until I realized they won’t fly.

Why did the winemaker have a nervous breakdown? He couldn’t bottle it up any more.

My dog only responds to commands in Spanish. He’s a cocker Español.

What do you call two guys hanging above a window? Kurt and Rod.

I joined a Lord of the Rings secret society and just learned the secret sign. It’s a Tolkien gesture.

I found a pencil with two erasers in the clearance section. I can see why; it was pretty pointless.

How do you organize a space party? You planet.