honningkage

What did the big plate say to the teacup? Lunch is on me.

For the pachydermist at the zoo, if it isn’t about elephants, it’s irrelephant.

I’d like to thank, you, student loans, for getting me through college. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you.

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. However, smoking bacon will cure it.

In chemistry class, our professor taught us that covalent bonds are the strongest. I always felt that Sean Connery was the strongest Bond.

Queue is one letter followed by four silent letters. They must be waiting their turn.

Why hasn’t the sun gone back to school? Because it already has a million degrees.

Friend: “I have a new niece.” Me: “Why, was there something wrong with the old one?”

Most people think that a T. rex can’t clap because they have short arms. But really, it’s because they’re dead.

How many seconds are there in a year? Twelve. January 2nd, February 2nd…