honningkage

My physicist girlfriend told me that she loves me to the moon and back. I’m worried she means displacement, not distance.

Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft? Classical conditioning.

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word.

Where do Audis go when they retire? The old Volks home.

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.

Why was the man afraid of a bra? He knew it was a booby trap.

During prenatal class, I was asked if I had ever been present for a birth. I replied, “Yes, once.” I was then asked to describe it. I said, “It was dark, then suddenly very bright.”

A vegan said to me, “People who sell meat are disgusting!” I said, “People who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.”

A square and a circle walk into a pub. The square says to the circle: “Your round.”

I had a great joke about a blunt spear, but I don’t think there’s any point.